Cinema Fiasco: The Swarm



None scheduled.


“Everybody, get inside! It’s the killer bees!” Fans of mediocre movie-making, rejoice! Cinema Fiasco is coming back to the Astor with one of their all-time favourite bad movies, The Swarm. Geoff Wallis and Janet A. McLeod (Cinema Fiasco’s estimable hosts) haven’t been this excited about a screening since their memorable presentation of Showgirls and those familiar with The Swarm’s myriad pleasures will no doubt share their enthusiasm. Texas is under threat from a swarm of mutant African killer bees. Picnickers and flower festival attendees are being stung to death and, as if this weren’t terrifying enough, the insidious insects of the titular mass are ruthlessly capable of crashing helicopters, derailing trains and blowing up nuclear power plants. Can heroic entomologist Michael Caine and sexy lady toxicologist Katharine Ross save the day? Is this the end of humanity as we know it? And what about the cut flower industry? There is never a moment in this fabulous 70s disaster epic that is anything less than ludicrous. The dialogue is some of silliest ever spoken; the special effects (including attack scenes in which the victims are apparently bombarded by raisins) are sublime; and the roster of Hollywood has-beens, spouting mawkish claptrap and succumbing to bee toxin, is one of the best ever assembled. The movie is also significant as the high point in Michael Caine’s career as one of cinema’s all-time greatest shouters. Every one of his high decibel utterances is to be treasured. The Swarm will be presented with live in-cinema commentary by Cinema Fiasco and if you’re normally bothered by people talking during a movie this is one time you’ll be glad of it. Hosts Geoff Wallis and Janet A. McLeod are experts in all things awful about cinema and their off-kilter observations have been delighting Melbourne’s cinema-goers for the past thirteen or fourteen years. (They really can’t remember.) So grab some popcorn and a bunch of your less discriminating friends and head to the Astor for “a truly unique film-going experience” and “two hours of almost constant laugh out loud hilarity”. You’ll bee glad you did.