(1985, dir. Richard Fleischer, w/ Brigitte Nielsen, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sandahl Bergman, Paul L. Smith)

Cinema Fiasco Present: Red Sonja will finish at approximately 9:37pm.

Cinema Fiasco is a bad movie comedy commentary show, hosted by Geoff Wallis and Janet A. McLeod, whose knowledge of awful acting, dreadful dialogue and anything-but-special special effects is unparalleled. For 14 years they have delighted audiences with their idiosyncratic approach to movie-going and their live in-cinema commentary chock full of old jokes, bad puns and bitchy banter. Their next offering at the Astor is the 1985 sword and sorcery spectacular “Red Sonja”, starring the all-star line-up of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Brigitte Nielsen and Sandahl Bergman. In a land before time (when sets were mind-bogglingly over-the-top and costuming was camper than a Mardi Gras float) a magic orb, capable of destroying the world, is stolen by a wicked queen. Red Sonja embarks on a quest to retrieve the orb, picking up assistance along the way from an irritating child actor, a comic relief fat guy and Arnold Schwarzenegger. If you’re a fan of sword-fighting this epic will reward you in spades and horse-riding enthusiasts will not be disappointed either. There are plenty of fine dialogue moments (“Hatred of men in a lovely young woman – it could be your downfall”) and the dubbing of the ESL cast members is often quite outstanding. And who could ignore what the critics had to say about the three lead performances? “The acting is awful, even by the standards of this bunch!” “The only point of interest is deciding who gives the worse performance, Nielsen or villainess Bergman.” Can’t you hear the siren song of bad cinema calling your name? Please note: Cinema Fiasco presents “Red Sonja” with live commentary throughout the screening. (IMDB)